"Don't Forget..."

You ever had one of those moments where you feel like you've been forgotten? Like you've just been hung out to dry with no one to care for you? I think we all have had moments where we had to walk alone with no one to have our back...or front for that matter. But I think sometimes those of us that feel forgotten just might feel that way because we have forgotten someone ourselves.

Usually when we feel forgotten it's most likely because we have become so caught up with the things that we do on a daily basis that when we finally get a chance to breathe, we ask ourselves where did everyone go? We come to the end of a long journey of work and want to celebrate but realize that we don't have anyone to celebrate with. How is that? Well, it could be because we may have left some people behind that would have otherwise been there for us to celebrate with.

It's funny how just when we think we are alone, someone that we had forgotten about ourselves comes along and reminds us that he or she was there the whole time. They just had to step back for a while and let us do us. But I believe that when those people come along and make themselves available again, they are showing us that they themselves will always be by our sides, front, and always have our back.

Maybe there are some people that we have forgotten about while we were so busy with our own lives. Maybe it's not just us who have been forgotten about. Take some time out of each day and make sure that you don't forget about those that have been there and always will be there through it all. That's what real friends do.


Inspired by: A Christmas card from my sophomore year roomie "Bernie". Thanx girl!!!

"Blowing It Up!!!"

Have you ever saw something or someone that belonged to someone else and you wished it was yours?  Did you grow envious?  Did you develop a hatred for that person?  Did that hatred drive you to insanity to the point of almost killing that person either in your mind or in real life?  Even if we haven't gone to the last point, we have all had that moment of envy.  But what happens when that envy hurts the person or thing that you have?  Well, that's a different story.

I think that sometimes when we see something that we want, our eyes grow so big that we forget to look at what we already have.  What we have all of a sudden doesn't have the same value in our eyes as it did when we first got it; its luster, shine and glossiness doesn't appear to be the same anymore.  It's almost as if it's an old toy and we throw it aside to make room for a newer and better toy.

But I think that we fail to realize that even if we were to get that new toy, it's only a matter of time before we find another new toy and that first new toy doesn't become so new anymore.  We fail to realize that there will always be something that is better than something else.  If that's the case, why bother even putting in the effort of trying to get anything else new?  Now that's the real question.  Another real question is this: What if we can make that old toy have a lasting value that outshines anything new?

Value is something that only we as the owners can create for our current possessions.  Sure, it's ok to have new possessions, but value doesn't come with something as soon as you get it.  Value can only be added after time has taken its toll on the possession.  Even after the possession has gone through battery, dirt, grime and oil that value is still there and continues to rise each and every day.  Don't throw away your old possessions because at the end of the day, their value will always outshine those possessions that are new.

Inspired By: An argument about old vs. new

"What Kind of Bag Are You Carrying?"

I think every once and a while we all have to go from one place in our lives to another. It's almost like every so often we have to pack our bags and move to a new temporary home. With each move each new home remains a home for a shorter and shorter period of time. But I believe that that is because with each move, we should be packing lighter and lighter bags.

Many of us have a tendency to pack so much luggage that we crowd our home and have to move to another temporary shelter. Depending on whether we pack all that stuff from our last home and put it in our new home will determine how long we stay there and how comfortable we will be able to live. I know I don't want to have to come home to a room with baggage packed to the ceiling to the point where I can't even come through the door and go to bed at night.

Sometimes we may take some of those bags with us wherever we go: school, work, church, parties, etc. How uncomfortable is that? But get this...some of us will take those bags with us and then come back home with those and more that we picked up along the way. Man! Talk about crowded living! But hey, that's how some of us live and some of us continue to live that way for quite some time until we get to our breaking point where we have to ask ourselves, "Do I really need all this stuff?"

I feel that whether you're carrying a garbage bag, a travel bag, a plastic bag, a paper bag, or even a Gucci bag, you need to be mindful of what type of baggage you're carrying with you. Do you have too much? Not enough? Depending on what you're carrying just may determine how far you can travel to a new home and also how comfortable you will live there. Live on today in a comfortable home and drop some of that unecessary baggage at the curb and carry less than you did at your old home.

Inspired by "Bag Lady"- Erykah Badu

"Step Back and Look"

For some odd reason finding friends has been a task that hasn't always been easy for some. Finding real friends can be an even more difficult task, especially when it comes to girls.

Most find that a friend is someone whom they can trust, respect, and count on. Should that be so hard to find? Well, if it were easy then one would find it very hard to truly value someone that is a friend. Finding good friends has always been a hard task for me and to this day I will never understand why. I often would look on the site "Facebook" and see that many of the people that I attended high school may still be seen with the people that they were close to in high school. I can't really say that I've had that. It seemed as if with every school transition I had to go through a transition with so-called friends as well. It wasn't until later on that I realized that some of the people who I had been looking past were the ones that were my friends all along.

I can count these girls on less than two hands, and you know what? For once I don't see that as a problem. I find that these girls came through for me and sacrificed time for me just to simply see to it that I could have moments of accomplishment and happiness. I find that I didn't have to ever force a friendship with these girls, because it just happened so naturally. I always found that when I needed major things such as a ride to someplace at the last minute or a simple thing like just someone to go eat with, they were always there.

Now there were some girls that I did consider my friends but found that even they had flown out of my life after some time. But I remember something that one lady had told me once before. She said that God sends us people for certain seasons and with every passing season, God will send us new people to be our friends. Well, I feel that God was taking me through these seasons of people so that I would have the chance to simply step back and take a look at who my real girls were. He took me to my high points and I saw who celebrated with me and He took me to some low points so that I could see who would hold my hand and pull me back up. He took me through some happy times to show me who would laugh with me and He took me through some sad times to show me who would wipe my tears away. Though these girls are a small number they leave an infinity amount of love and friendship in my heart and a lasting trail of footprints of smiles.

I love these girls, they know who they are. And I'm so happy that God has lead me to the end of my search of true girlfriends.

For:
Niska, Naja, Brittany J. and Carmen aka Catie

"Flawless Mistakes"

There are times in life when some of our biggest mistakes, mishaps, and falls really show us the type of person that we are. Each day, we all make some sort of mistake and have to decide how we face it. Do we hold our heads down in shame and fear what others will think? Do we run away from it and act as if nothing happened? Or do we merely just take it as it is and learn from it?

Well, for most of us, when we have a mistake that we make, we tend to just apologize for it and move on. But sometimes I wonder if we should always apologize for our mistakes. Just because we fall does that mean that we hurt someone else? Does it necessarily mean that we owe someone an explanation? I don't think so.

Mistakes are sometimes given a bad reputation and are rarely ever seen as beneficial. There are times when a mistake must be made in order for each of us to learn something new and to learn more about our character. I don't think that all mistakes are bad. Some are just little stepping stones that we stumble over that in the end allow us to pick ourselves up and climb to the highest mountains of our best characters.

Inspired By: My "Flawless" Performance as Amerie :)

"Inner Death For An Outer Resurrection"

There are times in life where we must all make a change. We must step outside of ourselves and see the world for what it is, see things for what they really are, and see that we have to sometimes change in order to live a better life.

As I look at the lives of some of our people in the world, I realize that some of them just don't want to change. Some of them are arrogant, deceitful, cold-hearted, liars, murderers, and just plain bad people. But I'm a firm believer that even in the most terrible of people, there is still some good in them that the right person just has to bring out in the right situation.

Some people feel that because of their bad situations, reputations, and past they are simply destined to be the way that they are and be complacent with the way things in this world are. The tend to call that "living in reality." They tend to say "well, this is just how I am." Well, I think they need to wake up themselves and realize that reality changes every single day and that they need to kill that mentality so that they can live for a better tomorrow.

I'm sure that when President Obama decided to run for President, he knew what reality was telling him. He knew that the reality was that this country did not want to see a black man lead it. He knew that reality was telling him that this was a white man's world and he was just another black man living in it. He knew that reality was telling him that every step along the way he was going to fall because this country would never let him get as far as he did. But look at what happened. He killed reality. He killed reality's doubts. He killed reality's sayings. He killed reality in order for this country to see an outer resurrection.

Now I know that that situation may seem to be more of an extreme case for some people. But the truth of the matter is that sometimes in order for us to make it through life, we have to kill ourselves from the inside in order to see the essence of our lives and be able to adapt to it. Sometimes we can be so stubborn to the point where we feel nothing but ourselves and how selfish is that? Sometimes we don't want anyone to tell us that we need to make changes about ourselves in order to make it further in life. But the truth of the matter is that we have to listen to those people that really care about us and can really teach us something. It doesn't matter who the messenger is. It can be a child, it can be an adult, it can be a book, it can be a word. The point is that we as people have to humble enough to realize that reality can change and reality doesn't have to set us in our ways.

There is a time for every season and we have to learn how to live in that season, but know that someday that season has to end and changes have to made. In order for a new life to begin, a death must occur.

"ELECTION DAY...AND ALL MY THOUGHTS THAT COME WITH IT"

OMG!!!! Today has got to be one of the biggest days in the history of life itself!!! We are sooo close to having a Black President!!!! I'm so excited right now it's ridiculous!!! Well, since this is history in the making, I figured I would post the action up right now as if you were walking beside me right now in the comfort of my dorm room. So sit back, relax, and let's make history!!!!

OK right now it's 207 (Obama) and 138 (McCain)...well, of course Obama is in the lead!!! I was so excited today to hear and see so many students around here going to exercise their right to vote. It made me feel so good. Part of me actually wished that I had waited until today to vote lol. Well, at least I went and voted so technically I'm still apart of history :). I just can't get over the fact that we are sooo close to the end. This is the dream that MLK had wanted and spoke of sooo much.

Oh NOOO!!!! It's 10:44pm and now it's 207 (Obama) and 143(McCain)!!!! I can't believe this. I swear Obama needs to pull this one out for real. Who could have imagined that something like this would be happening? I'm still so excited about this election. All I keep hearing is YES WE CAN!!!! And fyi, I feel that if when Obama wins, that slogan should become YEAH WE DID!!!! lol. Just remember that before Diddy or Jay-Z come out with t-shirts that say that, you heard it from me first at "The Voice Within."

I actually want to go and get me a frickin' sandwich from the cafe right now, but I promise you I can't pull my eyes away from this screen. OMG did I just hear the tv say that Obama will get well over 270 votes, making him the 44th President of the United States of America??? I better had heard that because I know I'm not deaf lol. This is still one of the most exciting things I've ever seen. I can't believe I'm witnessing history in the making. I'll be able to read about this event in history books and I'll be able to tell my children that I was there when all this happened. Not to mention the fact that I was right in the midst of the crowd when Obama came to the field across from my dorm and spoke before us!!! That was really exciting as well. I got some good video footage of that and everything :). I'm such a broadcast journalist lol.

Argh!!!! I'm so tired of seeing all these splashes of red on the map of electoral results!!! Why is it that the southern states with the most racist people are on McCain's side? Gee, I wonder why? lol. Oh well, that doesn't mean they have that much power because they're not even worth that many electoral votes.

Aside from the Presidential part, I know that the legal marijuana was up for the vote today as well. Well, I voted no on it, because I know that "y'all" will try and get the homeboy with the weed prescription to get it for the 'rellos for the night lol. Thats a shame. I voted yes on for the stem cell research though. I feel that people can definitely benefit from that so much more.

Why are these two reporters wearing red ties? Are they trying to represent McCain on the low? lol. Some supporters. Although I could be wrong lol. They could be for Obama.

IT IS 11PM ON THE DOT...AND OBAMA IS THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!!!!!! HISTORY HAS BEEN MADE!!!! YES WE DID IT!!!! GOD IS TOO GOOD!!!!! IT'S OVER!!!! CHANGE IS HERE!!!! PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!!!! AIN'T NO STOPPING US NOW!!!! THEY SAID WE WOULD NEVER MAKE IT TO THE WHITE HOUSE!!!! YES WE CAN AND YES WE DID!!!!!!

FINAL SCORE....OBAMA(384+) MCCAIN(174). THE VOTES HAVE SAID IT. LET'S GO OUT AND CELEBRATE. THIS IS ASHLEIGH J. AKA BETTY PAGE MONROE SIGNING OFF!!!

Can't You Just Stand On Your Own???

So I have come to the conclusion that there are just far too many girls that I know that feel that they need a man in order to live their lives. A man just has to be there in order for them to go about their daily lives and such a cycle wouldn't be complete without them throwing this up in everyone's face. I swear I just laugh at this everytime I see it and hear about it for myself.

I mean, what ever happened to the strong black women that we should all strive to be? Since when was it a man's job to assure us of ourselves? Since when did it become an obligation for a man to tell us who we are and where we need to be in life? Since when did someone make a law saying that a man is the determiner of all things woman? Last time I checked this was...ummm....NEVER!!!!! I just don't understand how all this is coming about and where this is coming from.

When Destiny's Child came out with that song "Independent Women" I thought that that would be every woman's anthem and at that point it was. But I guess it was only a matter of time before that trend faded like a pair of 70's bell bottoms. But that is just crazy to me. It seems that now more than ever so many of our women are allowing men to validate them, especially females of my generation. I mean, I know one girl who was with a guy off and on for a minute. But the problem was that this guy put his hands on her and she allowed it. I swear I couldn't be in that situation cuz that fool would definitely be dead as a door nail. Then he comes back with the whole "baby I've changed" story. PLEASE!!!! Save me the drama. This girl is obviously dumb and needs her head examined. Or better yet, maybe she needs to get a clue and realize that you need to stand on your own two feet before you get into a relationship. Not only does this girl sleep with everything on two legs after only knowing it for less than 24 hours but she then expects those same guys to be in a relationship with her and respect her after the fact. NICE TRY HO!!!!

Then what's up with this whole trend of every girl wanting to get pregnant so fast? Girl, you dropped outta school for some old guy who gets you pregnant after only knowing you for so long? What kinda sh** is that??? If a man loves you, shouldn't he be trying to do what's best for you? Shouldn't he be supporting you in achieving a good education so that you wouldn't just be another silly dumb biotch on the street? Last time I checked, that was the case. But hey such is life.

I want to also give a shout out to my reunited sister Lucky Laura!!!! I love you sis and I"m so glad that we finally united again and I'm looking forward to you moving up here in East Lansing with me and hopefully we can start that video blog reality show together. Us models have to look out for one another lol. Plus we are both sweethearts and I'm sure both our lives combined will make us the new "Stallionaires" lol. MUAH!!!

Well, that's about all that I wanted to say today. Tune in on the next blog entry in the wonderful life of Ashleigh J.

Symbols Of Obscurity

So I was at my job and was a little bored and I was watching one of my fave movies "V for Vendetta" and I never realized how much of an impact this film has the potential to make on people when they really look at it and pay attention to the obscured symbols behind it.

Some of the quotes in there film were so impacting and thoughtful. "People shouldn't be afraid of their government; the government should be afraid of its people." "Blowing up a building is a symbol." Just those two quotes, although they aren't the exact quotes from the movie (lol) made me truly think about this year's presidential election and then some.

September 11, 2001: I'm sure we all remember that day, at least I do. The Twin Towers and the Pentagon were attacked by terrorists. In the film "V for Vendetta" the saying went "Remember remember the 5th of November...". It was on that day that a man tried to blow up Parliament. In the film the main character V later acomplished that goal. But anyway, the question was not why did this attack happen, but rather what did this attack symbolize. True, blowing up a building does not really accomplish much when it is just looked on the surface as an action and only an action. However, with enough people that action can become a life-changing symbol and that's just what the attacks on 9/11 did. The attack became a symbol for the American people. It became a symbol of unity. It was on that day that color, race, religion, gender and sexuality no longer mattered. All that mattered was that each one of us held hands and prayed together for our loss and that we all came together and stood as one people.

November 4, 2008: Well, that day is just around the corner and by now we all know what this year's presidential election is a symbol of - CHANGE!!!! When JFK was in office, there was a moment when he said that there was no reason why a black man should not be able to obtain the same position that he was in. I believe he knew what he was talking about. Here we are not with a black man running for President and he has a great potential to win. There should not be a reason why his color should even be a factor in him going into office. But his color and the fact that he is running is- like the other examples above- a symbol that can often be obscured by surface circumstances. He is the change that the Black race has been praying for. He is the symbol of opportunity that MLK, Harriet Tubman, Malcolm X, and even JFK had fought for. Why wouldn't we as Blacks go out and vote? This is too important. This is the one chance that we as a people have a positive African American male to look at and see that change has come. He is a symbol that is speaking out to America saying YES WE CAN!!!!

Don't let weather, tv shows, classes, or a job stop you from voting in this election. We have come so far as a people and still have such a long way to go. Don't let the journey toward change stop here. Get out there and VOTE!!!!!

Inspired by: "V for Vendetta"

"Ask More..."

So I was walking through a CVS store near campus one day and I went to the book and magazine section. I wasn't looking for anything in particular, but there was one book that caught my eye titled, "All About Me." I looked through it, and it was one of those fill-in-the blank books that ask you about yourself. Sure, I've seen those types of books before, but this one got really personal. It asked you about your morals, sexuality, God and the world, family, friends, etc. The questions were very mind-boggling and really made me wonder how well do I really know myself? How well does anyone really know themselves for that matter?

I decided to get the book just to see what answers I would fill in. To my surprise, I found it a bit of a challenge to answer everything, which to me was no surprise seeing as how sometimes I even forget who I am (lol). But I believe that the point of this book wasn't to simply fill out the questions and that's it. I believe the author intended for the book to be some sort of reflection type book, and really lets a person ask questions that otherwise probably wouldn't be asked.

I often wonder if I even ask enough questions. Whether the questions be about myself, or other people and things, I just don't know if I ask enough sometimes. There's no such thing as a dumb question right? Well, I supose sometimes there are exceptions to even that rule. However, I think that each day we are destined to learn something new. It can be a small lesson, or an even more valuable lesson. Either way, asking questions is the only way to get by in this world, because no one is born with the answers to everything. Even Jesus asked His Father questions sometimes too. What have you asked someone today?

"My Man"

I was walking around outside one day, and I overheard a group of young girls talking amongst each other as to what kind of wedding they wanted to have.  It was actually really cute and funny at the same time.  These girls couldn't have been any older than seven or eight years old.  "My man is gonna be big and strong," one stated.  "My man is gonna wear a blue tie and be a doctor," another one voiced.  Little did they know that when I was there age I used to say the same thing with my girls.  It didn't occur to me until years later that I had been looking at my ideal man the entire time.

I wanted my man to be intelligent.  I wanted him to be strong and good looking.  I wanted him to always tell me that I was pretty.  I wanted him to make me smile and understand me.  But most of all, I wanted him to love me simply for me.  I would imagine that all girls would want a man like  the one I desired.  Why wouldn't they want someone like that?  I even know some older women who have yet to find a man like the one I had and still do have.  Yeah, I used to speak of him all the time whenever me and my girls would sit around and talk about our future husbands.  I sill laugh to this day about it.

So where did this man go?  Some may read this and wonder if he's still in my life.  Is he alive?  Do I plan to be his forever?  Does he still love and respect me?  Does he buy me nice things?  Does he still treat me like a princess or queen?  I even look at these questions and would probably wonder the same things if some girl had described this man to me.  I would even ask her if she even found this fantasy man at all.  

The truth of the matter is, I have always answered "yes" to those questions.  I go on to tell those people that ask me such questions that he even cooks for me.  That really surprises them all.  He was the first man that ever held me.  The first man I ran to when I needed help.  The first man I ever cried in front of.  The first man that ever told me that he loved me.  The first man that ever had my back.  The first man that called me his own and to this day I'm still his own.  

So how could I have  found such a man at such a young age and remained his for this long?  Well, it's easy.  While some girls look to television stars, famous athletes, movie stars, singers, rappers and models for their ideal men, I found mine the day I was born.  I had found my father.

I realize that there are so many girls out there that don't have their fathers around and in the end look for any kind of man to make them feel like a "woman."  Well, each day I thank God that I have a real man in my life to show me  what a real man truly is.  Daily my father treats me and my mother in a way where we are royalty.  He takes charge and takes care of his family.  He works for us, cooks for us, and most of all follows Christ in his daily walk.  This is the kind of man that my father will soon walk me down the aisle to, and it's not because I looked at idle men to find what a "real" man was.  I simply looked at the first man that has ever loved me and that is how I found the type of man that I want my dad to walk me down the aisle to on my wedding day.

I love you dad.  You will always be My Man.

"The Biggest Stunt of a Stunna"

So I was driving on the highway on my way to class and I overheard something on the radio. Apparently, rapper Rick Ross was allegedly reported to have been a corrections officer in Miami before he was a rapper. This was quite funny to me, not for the fact that he had a job in corrections but for the fact that he would lie in his raps where he speaks of his so called "gangster" lifestyle. He speaks of drug trafficking and other illegal acts that are a part of his life, but I have to question the validity of such after hearing about this alleged career of his. But aside from that, I have to wonder if living the life of a gangster is the only way to make it successful in the rap industry.

As I think about the rap industry, the first thing that comes to mind is the thuggish lifestyle that is often glamorized. But then after that thought, I think about the rappers that may have come from those types of conditions, but their lyrical content speaks to a generation in need of hope and love. Rappers such Common, Lupe Fiasco, Nas, and even Jay-Z have come from rough areas where an infestation of drugs, alcohol, violence, and sex circulated on a daily basis and survival was the goal each day. However, what stands out about each of these artists is that though their lyrical content once spoke of their detrimental surroundings, they have since today shown growth in their lives in their lyrics, lifestyles, and even public appearances.

I often look at some of the other popular rappers out there now that speak more about gang violence, sex, drugs and the like and wonder if this is really what rap is all about. Does an upcoming rap artist simply become respected based on how many times he's been shot, how many people he's killed, or how much time he's spent in a penitentiary? If that's the case, then how do we expect our younger generation to feel when they hear that the only way to get up is to put someone else six feet under? Can a rap artist be respected by only speaking of positive and thought provoking subjects?

Rap artists of today that are glamorized based on their hard core thuggish lifestyles are of course making platinum singles and selling out concerts. But that doesn't discourage the rap artists that have grown and matured from their years of the thug life. Even rappers such as Tupac that lived the life of a thug and grew up around drugs, alcohol, and sex, didn't let that outshine their true talent as an artist. He never shied away from political topics, uplifting topics, and other thought provoking topics such as mothers, strong women, and just getting together to have a great time. Until now, it seemed that rap told a story. It had a beginning, a middle, and an end. It contained characters, a narrator, and a lesson. However, nowadays, it seems that it becomes harder to find a story in a book that is written by bullets, blood, and the sounds of clanging cells bars.

Buckling up becomes more common - News

Buckling up becomes more common - News

WSU dean elected to high-ranking trustee position - News

WSU dean elected to high-ranking trustee position - News

"Who to Blame?"

So I have always been a fan of learning about my culture. I've always loved being a part of controversial conversations, especially when it comes to social issues such as education, racism, leadership, religion. You name it, and I'll probably have an opinion on it. I have been watching this year's chapter of BET's Hip-Hop vs. America poll and I must ask myself who is to blame for the degradation of women and our Black men out there in the world?

As I sat and listened to the various people involved on the poll, I couldn't help but shake my head at how we as a people have come so far, yet still have such a long way to go. I listened to the chosen poll go back and forth in discussing the negative images that the Black race has to face, especially when it comes to the negative images of Black women. America wants to blame everything on hip-hop: drugs, racism, miseducation, misogyny of women- you name it and it's been blamed on hip-hop. But it can't all be blamed on hip-hop. In fact, the blame begins in the comfort of our own homes.

During the times of slavery, Blacks did not have a voice. They're destiny, purpose, lives and the like were determined by the masters that held the whip. Women were being stripped of their own being, and were forced to be raped, killed, and degraded all because they did not and could not have their own voices. Now, let's travel some decades later to the '60s. It was during these years that though racism was still at large, Blacks were coming together and holding one another up chanting, "We Shall Overcome." Not only were we activists and leaders, but we had forced ourselves to have a window for us to speak, for us to make our own destiny, for us to be who we wanted to be. Now, let's go a little further to the '80s. Hip-hop was really beginning to change. For once, women began to break into the hip-hop era where their voices could be heard. Female hip-hop artists had power and saw an opportunity for their sides to be heard. Now, let's go to the new millenium. Well, let's just say that it's not a pretty picture.

Back in the early decades, Black families were together. Black families were going to church together. Black children obeyed their parents. Where has the love gone? What has happened to my generation? Mothers are no older than their own children. Schools are being run by students. Black women are left to raise their children alone. Black men are being killed by homicides now more than ever. HIV/AIDS is killing more Blacks than any other race on the face of this earth. Where is the love? Where are the leaders? What have we done to ourselves?

Notice how I say 'ourselves.' We as a people have gotten so comfortable with blaming society on why things are the way they are for us. Now don't get me wrong, society has given us some hard cards to deal with, but sometimes we have to take personal responsibility for our actions. We cannot just dipict ourselves in a way that is degrading to both men and women alike. We need our women to not be afraid to stand up and have a brain and see themselves as sexy. We need our men to stop killing each other and help each other instead. We need our children to stop raising children or worse, letting the streets raise them.

Who is to blam? The answer is most of the time, we can only blame ourselves.

A Trend Worth "Bi"ing?

So a young girl named Victoria decides to have a night on the town with her three best friends.  It's about 12:30 a.m. and the party at a local downtown Miami club is just getting started.  As Victoria breaks away from her friends at the bar to make a dash for the restroom, she is approached by a fairly attractive female named Brooklyn.  Victoria brushes past her and pays her no attention.  Once Victoria leaves the restroom she finds that the Brooklyn is sitting and chatting with the bartender.  Victoria heads to her same place at the bar where she left her friends and finds that Brooklyn makes her way to her.  "So do you plan on leaving the club with me tonight?" Brooklyn asks Victoria.  Victoria opens her eyes wide and states, "I'm sorry, I don't really swing that way."  Brooklyn shrugs her shoulders and then heads toward an attractive guy that Victoria had been eyeing that entire night and Brooklyn proceeds to get involved in an intimate conversation with the guy.  Odd?  Actually, the trend of bisexual Black women is becoming more and more than just a trend.

For some years, Black men have been in the spotlight when it comes to the topic of "being on the DL."  However, not until recently have Black women began to feel comfortable coming out into the spotlight and being proud of their sexuality by being bisexual.  It has become quite common for a woman to take liberty and independence in her sexuality, but has bisexuality become more common than once thought?

In being from Detroit, I find that there are a great number of lesbian girls and they have had a great affect on the "straight" girls who now claim "bi."  This particular trend may have at one point been a taboo subject, but now it is becoming more common than ever to see two females together in public as a couple.  In talking to some of my friends, I have found that two women being together has always been viewed as a more acceptable trend than seeing two men together.  Rappers and other musicians even mention the fantasy of having two women together or just taking pride in having a woman as their own who just happens to have a girlfriend.  But is this type of lifestyles even acceptable amongst lesbians?  Well, it is very rare that you will find a lesbian who does not have a problem with sharing her female partner with another man.  In fact, several bisexual women find it easier to just be with another bisexual female so that the feelings for men are somewhat mutual.  The same goes for lesbians who prefer to just be with other lesbians to avoid having to compete for the heart of another female.

So will this trend remain or is it just merely a trend?  Well, with the way my generation is so accepting of new lifestyles and different sexual acts, I say that this lifestyle is here to stay.

"A Tribute to Mothers"

Where have all the "mothers" gone? I mean, biologically we know they are here, seeing as how children are born everyday. But in this day and age the true definition of a mother has begun to vanish amongst today's generation.
I sat in my room one day and was watching a usual episode of the Maury show. The topic was something about how teens were wild and crazy and basically couldn't be controlled by their parents, especially the mothers. How can this be the case? Is the mother not the parent? How can the same person that brought her children into this world be disrespected by the same children? Is it the mother's fault? Is it the children's fault? Or could it be society's fault?
I walk through the mall sometimes, and when I see young girls out with friends, I see that the girls began to look a great deal like their best friend that is walking with them that day. Of course, this is from looking far away. As I get closer, I see that this is actually her mother---dressing like her child, talking like her child, pretty much being a teen just like her daughter. Though one may say, "Well, maybe her mother is just her best friend," I have to wonder to myself if that really is the case.
My mother is my best friend in this whole world. She has never steered me in the wrong direction, and I know that she will always do right by me. However, though she is my bff, she is my mother first. I think that that is where the so called mothers of today are going wrong. They are so quick to want to be their kid's best friend, that they often forget how to be a real mother.
To me the true mothers can be found in those generations that my generation know as the baby boomers and even some from other generations as well. Those mothers worked hard to see to it that their children had what they needed in life, and the children of that time appreciated such. Those mothers were not afraid to whip out a belt and discipline their children. Those mothers knew what it was like to really see to it that your children were well-behaved when they went out to other places, and even in other places another mother was going to be your mother if you cut up lol. Either way, the mothers of those generations were and still are the true definitions of mothers.
Nowadays, we have children raising children, whether they are their own children or merely the siblings. But why is this the case? We can't always blame the children. The Bible says to raise up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. That scripture reigns true today as it did over 2000 years ago. The training of a child under the guidance of a good mother begins at home. This Mother's Day, see to it that you truly consider who the true mothers of today are, in addition to the one in your home. Realize that you only get one mother in this world and everyday, you let her know that you love her and really mean it. Meanwhile, just pray that these new generations of mothers get it together and look for inspiration in the true living and non-living definitions of a true mother.

Weapon of Choice

What do you say to someone who has lost all or someone who is at the end of their rope? Do you say something to them, or do you just let them find their way to a higher level? How does one find the strength to hold on to the end of that rope when day by day their grip becomes more and more loose?
I used to think that if I fight hard enough for something, I'll eventually get the chance to have it. But what if the fight is just so exhausting that you feel that you have no other choice but to give up? You try and block every blow that comes your way, but after about 100+ blows, you become weaker and weaker. Now, it comes to a point where I know that some fights just aren't worth fighting.
With my fights in life, I've found that most of my weapons have been my heart and my tears. How could those be my weapons of choice? Rather than rage, hatred, shallowness, stubborness, or even hurtful words full of violence, I chose to use my heavy heart and acid-filled tears. With every blow, my heart becomes a bit heavier. With every jab my tears burn my skin. With every kick my heart carries another burden. With every cut my tears blaze my skin. If the fight is such a burdent on me, why do I bother ro fight it? If that's the case, why does anyone bother to fight a battle? The answer is simple: for the sake of happiness.
At the end of a fight, happiness can be found. Whether it's the joy of winning, the smile on a face, the sadness of the opponent, or merely the courage of going out to fight-- that happiness will be found. However, it's the pursuit of that happiness that develops character. And that character is where the true champion of the fight lies. The initial stage of the fight is within ourselves-- should I fight or should I quit? Next comes our weapons of choice-- how shall my opponent be defeated? What is my opponent's weakness? The third stage is to pursue one's happiness-- how much do I love my right to happiness? The final stage is to find the champion within, known as our character. The harder one fights, the more developed the character.
So why do I fight? Why is my heart so heavy? Why do my tears sting so much? Because my character, my heart, and my inner champion are worth the fight-- a fight that only a true champion with the heart and character of a fighter can fight.

Happiness in Loneliness

There are times in life when one mus have to walk alone. Some have to do it for a minute, some a day. Many have to do it for a month, many more for years.
So many times, "alone time" has been equated with sadness, heartache, and pain. There are very few moments when such a time can be used for something good. However, it is during the times whe happiness can be found in aloneness that one will no longer be alone. For instance, I have been one of those individuals that has walked the path of loneliness for years. I was always the one that never seemed to fit in. Though I shed the tears and had no one to dry them for me, I eventually drew a lesson from that walk. Throughout that time of loneliness, I had gone through several phases before I could become satisfied with who I truly was. I had spent so much time trying to fit in with others, that when asked who I was, I couldn't answer. But during that alone time, I found who I was and became happy with who I looked at in the mirror. Once I found that happiness, I found a group that I naturally belonged to. A group who loved who I was and never desired for me to change. I had finally found a group that I can call my sisters.
So alone time doesn't always have to be equated with sadness. Nor does it have to be a path of tears. However, loneliness can be equated with discovery. It is those that are not afraid to venture off into a dork, lonely place that make great discoveries; and that's what life is all about: finding out who you are and discovering the true treasures of life.