"Ask More..."

So I was walking through a CVS store near campus one day and I went to the book and magazine section. I wasn't looking for anything in particular, but there was one book that caught my eye titled, "All About Me." I looked through it, and it was one of those fill-in-the blank books that ask you about yourself. Sure, I've seen those types of books before, but this one got really personal. It asked you about your morals, sexuality, God and the world, family, friends, etc. The questions were very mind-boggling and really made me wonder how well do I really know myself? How well does anyone really know themselves for that matter?

I decided to get the book just to see what answers I would fill in. To my surprise, I found it a bit of a challenge to answer everything, which to me was no surprise seeing as how sometimes I even forget who I am (lol). But I believe that the point of this book wasn't to simply fill out the questions and that's it. I believe the author intended for the book to be some sort of reflection type book, and really lets a person ask questions that otherwise probably wouldn't be asked.

I often wonder if I even ask enough questions. Whether the questions be about myself, or other people and things, I just don't know if I ask enough sometimes. There's no such thing as a dumb question right? Well, I supose sometimes there are exceptions to even that rule. However, I think that each day we are destined to learn something new. It can be a small lesson, or an even more valuable lesson. Either way, asking questions is the only way to get by in this world, because no one is born with the answers to everything. Even Jesus asked His Father questions sometimes too. What have you asked someone today?

"My Man"

I was walking around outside one day, and I overheard a group of young girls talking amongst each other as to what kind of wedding they wanted to have.  It was actually really cute and funny at the same time.  These girls couldn't have been any older than seven or eight years old.  "My man is gonna be big and strong," one stated.  "My man is gonna wear a blue tie and be a doctor," another one voiced.  Little did they know that when I was there age I used to say the same thing with my girls.  It didn't occur to me until years later that I had been looking at my ideal man the entire time.

I wanted my man to be intelligent.  I wanted him to be strong and good looking.  I wanted him to always tell me that I was pretty.  I wanted him to make me smile and understand me.  But most of all, I wanted him to love me simply for me.  I would imagine that all girls would want a man like  the one I desired.  Why wouldn't they want someone like that?  I even know some older women who have yet to find a man like the one I had and still do have.  Yeah, I used to speak of him all the time whenever me and my girls would sit around and talk about our future husbands.  I sill laugh to this day about it.

So where did this man go?  Some may read this and wonder if he's still in my life.  Is he alive?  Do I plan to be his forever?  Does he still love and respect me?  Does he buy me nice things?  Does he still treat me like a princess or queen?  I even look at these questions and would probably wonder the same things if some girl had described this man to me.  I would even ask her if she even found this fantasy man at all.  

The truth of the matter is, I have always answered "yes" to those questions.  I go on to tell those people that ask me such questions that he even cooks for me.  That really surprises them all.  He was the first man that ever held me.  The first man I ran to when I needed help.  The first man I ever cried in front of.  The first man that ever told me that he loved me.  The first man that ever had my back.  The first man that called me his own and to this day I'm still his own.  

So how could I have  found such a man at such a young age and remained his for this long?  Well, it's easy.  While some girls look to television stars, famous athletes, movie stars, singers, rappers and models for their ideal men, I found mine the day I was born.  I had found my father.

I realize that there are so many girls out there that don't have their fathers around and in the end look for any kind of man to make them feel like a "woman."  Well, each day I thank God that I have a real man in my life to show me  what a real man truly is.  Daily my father treats me and my mother in a way where we are royalty.  He takes charge and takes care of his family.  He works for us, cooks for us, and most of all follows Christ in his daily walk.  This is the kind of man that my father will soon walk me down the aisle to, and it's not because I looked at idle men to find what a "real" man was.  I simply looked at the first man that has ever loved me and that is how I found the type of man that I want my dad to walk me down the aisle to on my wedding day.

I love you dad.  You will always be My Man.

"The Biggest Stunt of a Stunna"

So I was driving on the highway on my way to class and I overheard something on the radio. Apparently, rapper Rick Ross was allegedly reported to have been a corrections officer in Miami before he was a rapper. This was quite funny to me, not for the fact that he had a job in corrections but for the fact that he would lie in his raps where he speaks of his so called "gangster" lifestyle. He speaks of drug trafficking and other illegal acts that are a part of his life, but I have to question the validity of such after hearing about this alleged career of his. But aside from that, I have to wonder if living the life of a gangster is the only way to make it successful in the rap industry.

As I think about the rap industry, the first thing that comes to mind is the thuggish lifestyle that is often glamorized. But then after that thought, I think about the rappers that may have come from those types of conditions, but their lyrical content speaks to a generation in need of hope and love. Rappers such Common, Lupe Fiasco, Nas, and even Jay-Z have come from rough areas where an infestation of drugs, alcohol, violence, and sex circulated on a daily basis and survival was the goal each day. However, what stands out about each of these artists is that though their lyrical content once spoke of their detrimental surroundings, they have since today shown growth in their lives in their lyrics, lifestyles, and even public appearances.

I often look at some of the other popular rappers out there now that speak more about gang violence, sex, drugs and the like and wonder if this is really what rap is all about. Does an upcoming rap artist simply become respected based on how many times he's been shot, how many people he's killed, or how much time he's spent in a penitentiary? If that's the case, then how do we expect our younger generation to feel when they hear that the only way to get up is to put someone else six feet under? Can a rap artist be respected by only speaking of positive and thought provoking subjects?

Rap artists of today that are glamorized based on their hard core thuggish lifestyles are of course making platinum singles and selling out concerts. But that doesn't discourage the rap artists that have grown and matured from their years of the thug life. Even rappers such as Tupac that lived the life of a thug and grew up around drugs, alcohol, and sex, didn't let that outshine their true talent as an artist. He never shied away from political topics, uplifting topics, and other thought provoking topics such as mothers, strong women, and just getting together to have a great time. Until now, it seemed that rap told a story. It had a beginning, a middle, and an end. It contained characters, a narrator, and a lesson. However, nowadays, it seems that it becomes harder to find a story in a book that is written by bullets, blood, and the sounds of clanging cells bars.

Buckling up becomes more common - News

Buckling up becomes more common - News

WSU dean elected to high-ranking trustee position - News

WSU dean elected to high-ranking trustee position - News

"Who to Blame?"

So I have always been a fan of learning about my culture. I've always loved being a part of controversial conversations, especially when it comes to social issues such as education, racism, leadership, religion. You name it, and I'll probably have an opinion on it. I have been watching this year's chapter of BET's Hip-Hop vs. America poll and I must ask myself who is to blame for the degradation of women and our Black men out there in the world?

As I sat and listened to the various people involved on the poll, I couldn't help but shake my head at how we as a people have come so far, yet still have such a long way to go. I listened to the chosen poll go back and forth in discussing the negative images that the Black race has to face, especially when it comes to the negative images of Black women. America wants to blame everything on hip-hop: drugs, racism, miseducation, misogyny of women- you name it and it's been blamed on hip-hop. But it can't all be blamed on hip-hop. In fact, the blame begins in the comfort of our own homes.

During the times of slavery, Blacks did not have a voice. They're destiny, purpose, lives and the like were determined by the masters that held the whip. Women were being stripped of their own being, and were forced to be raped, killed, and degraded all because they did not and could not have their own voices. Now, let's travel some decades later to the '60s. It was during these years that though racism was still at large, Blacks were coming together and holding one another up chanting, "We Shall Overcome." Not only were we activists and leaders, but we had forced ourselves to have a window for us to speak, for us to make our own destiny, for us to be who we wanted to be. Now, let's go a little further to the '80s. Hip-hop was really beginning to change. For once, women began to break into the hip-hop era where their voices could be heard. Female hip-hop artists had power and saw an opportunity for their sides to be heard. Now, let's go to the new millenium. Well, let's just say that it's not a pretty picture.

Back in the early decades, Black families were together. Black families were going to church together. Black children obeyed their parents. Where has the love gone? What has happened to my generation? Mothers are no older than their own children. Schools are being run by students. Black women are left to raise their children alone. Black men are being killed by homicides now more than ever. HIV/AIDS is killing more Blacks than any other race on the face of this earth. Where is the love? Where are the leaders? What have we done to ourselves?

Notice how I say 'ourselves.' We as a people have gotten so comfortable with blaming society on why things are the way they are for us. Now don't get me wrong, society has given us some hard cards to deal with, but sometimes we have to take personal responsibility for our actions. We cannot just dipict ourselves in a way that is degrading to both men and women alike. We need our women to not be afraid to stand up and have a brain and see themselves as sexy. We need our men to stop killing each other and help each other instead. We need our children to stop raising children or worse, letting the streets raise them.

Who is to blam? The answer is most of the time, we can only blame ourselves.

A Trend Worth "Bi"ing?

So a young girl named Victoria decides to have a night on the town with her three best friends.  It's about 12:30 a.m. and the party at a local downtown Miami club is just getting started.  As Victoria breaks away from her friends at the bar to make a dash for the restroom, she is approached by a fairly attractive female named Brooklyn.  Victoria brushes past her and pays her no attention.  Once Victoria leaves the restroom she finds that the Brooklyn is sitting and chatting with the bartender.  Victoria heads to her same place at the bar where she left her friends and finds that Brooklyn makes her way to her.  "So do you plan on leaving the club with me tonight?" Brooklyn asks Victoria.  Victoria opens her eyes wide and states, "I'm sorry, I don't really swing that way."  Brooklyn shrugs her shoulders and then heads toward an attractive guy that Victoria had been eyeing that entire night and Brooklyn proceeds to get involved in an intimate conversation with the guy.  Odd?  Actually, the trend of bisexual Black women is becoming more and more than just a trend.

For some years, Black men have been in the spotlight when it comes to the topic of "being on the DL."  However, not until recently have Black women began to feel comfortable coming out into the spotlight and being proud of their sexuality by being bisexual.  It has become quite common for a woman to take liberty and independence in her sexuality, but has bisexuality become more common than once thought?

In being from Detroit, I find that there are a great number of lesbian girls and they have had a great affect on the "straight" girls who now claim "bi."  This particular trend may have at one point been a taboo subject, but now it is becoming more common than ever to see two females together in public as a couple.  In talking to some of my friends, I have found that two women being together has always been viewed as a more acceptable trend than seeing two men together.  Rappers and other musicians even mention the fantasy of having two women together or just taking pride in having a woman as their own who just happens to have a girlfriend.  But is this type of lifestyles even acceptable amongst lesbians?  Well, it is very rare that you will find a lesbian who does not have a problem with sharing her female partner with another man.  In fact, several bisexual women find it easier to just be with another bisexual female so that the feelings for men are somewhat mutual.  The same goes for lesbians who prefer to just be with other lesbians to avoid having to compete for the heart of another female.

So will this trend remain or is it just merely a trend?  Well, with the way my generation is so accepting of new lifestyles and different sexual acts, I say that this lifestyle is here to stay.