"A Responsible Mother"

"I had desired it with an ardour that far exceeded moderation; but now that I had finished, the beauty of the dream vanished, and breathless horror and disgust filled my heart. Unable to endure the aspect of the being I had created..."
-- Frankenstein by Mary Shelley.

Now one would wonder why is this quote even worth analyzing? When most think of Frankenstein, they think of the monster created by a mad scientist whose work drove him nearly crazy. However, if one really takes an in-depth look at the themes and meanings behind the actual novel Frankenstein, one would see that the role of responsibility is something that many of us fear and will run from at least once in our lives.
As we walk through life each day we make decisions. They could be good or they could horribly alter our lives or the lives of others. We make the decision of whether or not we will perform our daily work tasks, whether we will voice our opinions of something, and even whether we will allow someone or something to shape our day. Either way, each day is filled with decisions that we must make. But what happens when even the smallest decision makes such an impact on our lives or the ones around us that we are forced to deal with the responsibility of that decision? Do we run from it? Do we hide from it? Or do we just take responsibility for our actions?
The thing about Frankenstein is that he worked on his goal of creating life for so many years and so intently that the question of whether his work became an obsession began to come about. However, after his work had finally been completed, he began to become disgusted with his creation and began to run away from it rather than take responsibility for it. His lack of responsibility ultimately brought about fatal circumstances to himself and the people he loved as well.
When we make decisions, the bottom line is that we have to take responsibility for them whether we want to or not. Too often we hear about mothers and fathers abandoning the creation of life that they brought into this world and never take responsibility for that life. As a result, that forgotten life takes on a form of its own where the dangers of society began to shape and mold that once innocent life into an inner image of lifelessness and numbness.
So often we take extreme joy in the toils and adventures of life that we often forget to ask ourselves, "How is this going to look tomorrow?" or "Who may this affect later on in life outside of myself?" We tend to become so selfish that we don't ask such questions and simply act on an impulse and in the end when it comes time to take responsibility for our actions, we simply run away from it, in hopes that everything will just disappear and things will go back to how they were before. If you're going to play the role of Frankenstein and create life into a decision, take the road of responsibility and don't let a small thing become a reckless monster terrorizing us all.

"Crawl, Walk, Run, and Soar"

As babies, we grow to have a curiosity about the world and have an eagerness to explore it and see how things operate in this big world. With each passing year throughout that stage, we learn and grow. In the process of learning and growing, we develop ourselves inside and out. As we enter into elementary, teenage, and then adulthood, we learn and continue to grow even more. But with each of those transitions, we have to learn to accept that sometimes we may just have to make those transitions alone. Unfortunately, that means that the same people that we used to be with may or may not be able to handle it.

There is a little thing called maturity that each and every one of us has to encounter at one point or another and for some that may be a scary thing. Some of us don't like the idea of having to move out of our comfort zone and go on to encounter new things. We would rather sit and stay in the vicinity that we are most familiar with along with those that feel the exact same way. We don't want to grow and leave behind our former ways. But how can you get better in life and succeed in life when you just merely keep the same mentality as an adult that you had when you were in the stages of a teen? The answer is simply this...YOU CAN'T!!!

I see this alot in college especially. It seems that alot of the men and women that I once used to run with, can't seem to leave a certain type of "hood" mentality behind with childish ways. They seem to feel most comfortable walking, talking, and acting the way that they did during younger years and as as result, cannot seem to advance in life at all. They may say that they are a grown man or woman and that they are doing it "big" but it seems to me that the ones that can't leave that mentality behind are simply defining "big" as what is at the end of their block, failing to realize that the world doesn't end there.

For some of us, this experience isn't the best feeling in the world because it hurts us to have to leave those childish ways and people behind. We thought that those particular "friends" of ours would grow with us and continue to be there to this day. It turns out that those people that we once used to run next to are still in the stages of crawling and have yet to realize that they need to get out of their own comfort zone and mentality in order to grow in life.

Though it may seem like a diss to those that don't grow as fast in maturity, to see it that way would be considered childish anyway. One can only crawl first. Once you learn to crawl, you have to walk. Once you learn how to walk, you have to run. Once you learn to run, you have to soar. Once you learn to soar, no one can stop you and bring you down. Don't be afraid to leave childish ways and people behind for the sake of growing in life. God brings people in our lives for seasons. And once that season is up, it's time to move on. Crawl, walk, run, soar and you can never fall.

"Going Beyond the Gate"

So this is the first blog entry that I have written for the year 2009 and I must say that I have some serious stuff to reflect on. My thoughts actually all came on my 21st bday no last week. I realized that each year one should be able to advance further in life than what one did the year before. A new year should bring about new thoughts, new decisions, and simply a new life in general. But what happens when you realize that moving forward may hurt so much that you are afraid to even move at all? What happens when you may just end up at the other side of the gate alone? My answer to those questions and the like is simply this: How will you know what is even on the other side of the gate if you don't even go at all?

There's a story in the Bible that talks about a small group of men that had lepracy disease. They had been traveling for quite sometime until they got so tired that they just sat at the temple. After doing such, one of the men simply propsed a thought: why bother just sitting here waiting to die? Now, that may seem to some to be a simple question, but it's a question that brings about many thoughts. Sometimes we as a people have a tendency to just sit and wait for things to happen simply because that is what is most comfortable. Rather than go through the gates of the timple, we'd rather just sit at the steps and wait. My question is, wait for what and how long?

Oftentimes, when we see that the majority is doing something or the majority decides on a common thing, it will be accepted and become the general norm. But haven't norms been broken? Haven't there been so many people throughout history who refused to stand at the gate like everyone else and become what we call innovators? Why bother just sitting at the gate and letting time pass? Why not just go through the gate and see what the temple holds?

We may tell ourselves that since the steps is where everyone else is sitting, maybe we should do the same thing. We may just grow to accept that maybe the steps is the best place to sit. It's comfortable to sit there rather than just get up and walk. Some may grow so tired of walking that the steps is just the place to be. But my question for those step-sitters is this: if something is already being done by many, why bother reinventing the wheel? Why not start a new trend? Why not step out of your own comfort zone and go further? It can't be that hard. What have you got to lose anyway, you've already come that far.

"Don't Forget..."

You ever had one of those moments where you feel like you've been forgotten? Like you've just been hung out to dry with no one to care for you? I think we all have had moments where we had to walk alone with no one to have our back...or front for that matter. But I think sometimes those of us that feel forgotten just might feel that way because we have forgotten someone ourselves.

Usually when we feel forgotten it's most likely because we have become so caught up with the things that we do on a daily basis that when we finally get a chance to breathe, we ask ourselves where did everyone go? We come to the end of a long journey of work and want to celebrate but realize that we don't have anyone to celebrate with. How is that? Well, it could be because we may have left some people behind that would have otherwise been there for us to celebrate with.

It's funny how just when we think we are alone, someone that we had forgotten about ourselves comes along and reminds us that he or she was there the whole time. They just had to step back for a while and let us do us. But I believe that when those people come along and make themselves available again, they are showing us that they themselves will always be by our sides, front, and always have our back.

Maybe there are some people that we have forgotten about while we were so busy with our own lives. Maybe it's not just us who have been forgotten about. Take some time out of each day and make sure that you don't forget about those that have been there and always will be there through it all. That's what real friends do.


Inspired by: A Christmas card from my sophomore year roomie "Bernie". Thanx girl!!!

"Blowing It Up!!!"

Have you ever saw something or someone that belonged to someone else and you wished it was yours?  Did you grow envious?  Did you develop a hatred for that person?  Did that hatred drive you to insanity to the point of almost killing that person either in your mind or in real life?  Even if we haven't gone to the last point, we have all had that moment of envy.  But what happens when that envy hurts the person or thing that you have?  Well, that's a different story.

I think that sometimes when we see something that we want, our eyes grow so big that we forget to look at what we already have.  What we have all of a sudden doesn't have the same value in our eyes as it did when we first got it; its luster, shine and glossiness doesn't appear to be the same anymore.  It's almost as if it's an old toy and we throw it aside to make room for a newer and better toy.

But I think that we fail to realize that even if we were to get that new toy, it's only a matter of time before we find another new toy and that first new toy doesn't become so new anymore.  We fail to realize that there will always be something that is better than something else.  If that's the case, why bother even putting in the effort of trying to get anything else new?  Now that's the real question.  Another real question is this: What if we can make that old toy have a lasting value that outshines anything new?

Value is something that only we as the owners can create for our current possessions.  Sure, it's ok to have new possessions, but value doesn't come with something as soon as you get it.  Value can only be added after time has taken its toll on the possession.  Even after the possession has gone through battery, dirt, grime and oil that value is still there and continues to rise each and every day.  Don't throw away your old possessions because at the end of the day, their value will always outshine those possessions that are new.

Inspired By: An argument about old vs. new

"What Kind of Bag Are You Carrying?"

I think every once and a while we all have to go from one place in our lives to another. It's almost like every so often we have to pack our bags and move to a new temporary home. With each move each new home remains a home for a shorter and shorter period of time. But I believe that that is because with each move, we should be packing lighter and lighter bags.

Many of us have a tendency to pack so much luggage that we crowd our home and have to move to another temporary shelter. Depending on whether we pack all that stuff from our last home and put it in our new home will determine how long we stay there and how comfortable we will be able to live. I know I don't want to have to come home to a room with baggage packed to the ceiling to the point where I can't even come through the door and go to bed at night.

Sometimes we may take some of those bags with us wherever we go: school, work, church, parties, etc. How uncomfortable is that? But get this...some of us will take those bags with us and then come back home with those and more that we picked up along the way. Man! Talk about crowded living! But hey, that's how some of us live and some of us continue to live that way for quite some time until we get to our breaking point where we have to ask ourselves, "Do I really need all this stuff?"

I feel that whether you're carrying a garbage bag, a travel bag, a plastic bag, a paper bag, or even a Gucci bag, you need to be mindful of what type of baggage you're carrying with you. Do you have too much? Not enough? Depending on what you're carrying just may determine how far you can travel to a new home and also how comfortable you will live there. Live on today in a comfortable home and drop some of that unecessary baggage at the curb and carry less than you did at your old home.

Inspired by "Bag Lady"- Erykah Badu

"Step Back and Look"

For some odd reason finding friends has been a task that hasn't always been easy for some. Finding real friends can be an even more difficult task, especially when it comes to girls.

Most find that a friend is someone whom they can trust, respect, and count on. Should that be so hard to find? Well, if it were easy then one would find it very hard to truly value someone that is a friend. Finding good friends has always been a hard task for me and to this day I will never understand why. I often would look on the site "Facebook" and see that many of the people that I attended high school may still be seen with the people that they were close to in high school. I can't really say that I've had that. It seemed as if with every school transition I had to go through a transition with so-called friends as well. It wasn't until later on that I realized that some of the people who I had been looking past were the ones that were my friends all along.

I can count these girls on less than two hands, and you know what? For once I don't see that as a problem. I find that these girls came through for me and sacrificed time for me just to simply see to it that I could have moments of accomplishment and happiness. I find that I didn't have to ever force a friendship with these girls, because it just happened so naturally. I always found that when I needed major things such as a ride to someplace at the last minute or a simple thing like just someone to go eat with, they were always there.

Now there were some girls that I did consider my friends but found that even they had flown out of my life after some time. But I remember something that one lady had told me once before. She said that God sends us people for certain seasons and with every passing season, God will send us new people to be our friends. Well, I feel that God was taking me through these seasons of people so that I would have the chance to simply step back and take a look at who my real girls were. He took me to my high points and I saw who celebrated with me and He took me to some low points so that I could see who would hold my hand and pull me back up. He took me through some happy times to show me who would laugh with me and He took me through some sad times to show me who would wipe my tears away. Though these girls are a small number they leave an infinity amount of love and friendship in my heart and a lasting trail of footprints of smiles.

I love these girls, they know who they are. And I'm so happy that God has lead me to the end of my search of true girlfriends.

For:
Niska, Naja, Brittany J. and Carmen aka Catie