"Who to Blame?"

So I have always been a fan of learning about my culture. I've always loved being a part of controversial conversations, especially when it comes to social issues such as education, racism, leadership, religion. You name it, and I'll probably have an opinion on it. I have been watching this year's chapter of BET's Hip-Hop vs. America poll and I must ask myself who is to blame for the degradation of women and our Black men out there in the world?

As I sat and listened to the various people involved on the poll, I couldn't help but shake my head at how we as a people have come so far, yet still have such a long way to go. I listened to the chosen poll go back and forth in discussing the negative images that the Black race has to face, especially when it comes to the negative images of Black women. America wants to blame everything on hip-hop: drugs, racism, miseducation, misogyny of women- you name it and it's been blamed on hip-hop. But it can't all be blamed on hip-hop. In fact, the blame begins in the comfort of our own homes.

During the times of slavery, Blacks did not have a voice. They're destiny, purpose, lives and the like were determined by the masters that held the whip. Women were being stripped of their own being, and were forced to be raped, killed, and degraded all because they did not and could not have their own voices. Now, let's travel some decades later to the '60s. It was during these years that though racism was still at large, Blacks were coming together and holding one another up chanting, "We Shall Overcome." Not only were we activists and leaders, but we had forced ourselves to have a window for us to speak, for us to make our own destiny, for us to be who we wanted to be. Now, let's go a little further to the '80s. Hip-hop was really beginning to change. For once, women began to break into the hip-hop era where their voices could be heard. Female hip-hop artists had power and saw an opportunity for their sides to be heard. Now, let's go to the new millenium. Well, let's just say that it's not a pretty picture.

Back in the early decades, Black families were together. Black families were going to church together. Black children obeyed their parents. Where has the love gone? What has happened to my generation? Mothers are no older than their own children. Schools are being run by students. Black women are left to raise their children alone. Black men are being killed by homicides now more than ever. HIV/AIDS is killing more Blacks than any other race on the face of this earth. Where is the love? Where are the leaders? What have we done to ourselves?

Notice how I say 'ourselves.' We as a people have gotten so comfortable with blaming society on why things are the way they are for us. Now don't get me wrong, society has given us some hard cards to deal with, but sometimes we have to take personal responsibility for our actions. We cannot just dipict ourselves in a way that is degrading to both men and women alike. We need our women to not be afraid to stand up and have a brain and see themselves as sexy. We need our men to stop killing each other and help each other instead. We need our children to stop raising children or worse, letting the streets raise them.

Who is to blam? The answer is most of the time, we can only blame ourselves.